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Why Dogs Don'T Use Computers

Top 19 List of Reasons Why Dogs Don't Use Computers
19. Can't stick our heads out of Windows 95.
18. Fetch command not available on all platforms.
17. Hard to read the monitor with our heads cocked to one side.
16. Too difficult to "mark" every website we visit.
15. Can't help attacking the screen when we hear "You've got
mail!".
14. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
13. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway that we're browsing.
12. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG Frisbee.
11. Still trying to come up with an 'emoticon' that signifies tail-
wagging.
10. Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft
Opposable Thumb.
9. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome.
8. 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other paw...
7. Barking in next cube keeps activating owner's voice recognition
software.
6. SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test!
5. SIT and STAY were hard enough; GREP and AWK are out of
the question!
4. Saliva-coated mouse gets might difficult to maneuver.
3. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg.
2. General sniffing, growls, and howls are more direct and less
deceiving than online chat rooms.
And the Number 1 Reason why Dogs Don't Use Computers...
1. Too Hard To Type With Paws
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