Whumpo Havo Noja, The Worst Wife
A couple of old cowboys (Sam and Bubba) were
sitting in a bar having a drink (or two or three),
doing what most old cowboys do; complaining about
the heat, the cows and their wives. They weren't
exactly the brightest guys, and neither were their
comments. Every day they said pretty much the same
thing.
And it always ended in a contest over who had the
worst wife.
Today though something was different. There was a
wise looking elderly Indian Chief sitting at the
bar. They decided to ask him to decide, who had
the worst wife.
The first man (Sam) complained that his wife was
always arguing with him. No matter what he said,
she always said the opposite. She didn't just say
it either, she said it so loud that the neighbors
complained.
The old Chief listened attentively and then said,
"If your wife was Indian, we would name her
Fire-Water."
Sam asked "Why would you call her Fire-Water?"
The Indian Chief replied, "Every time she opens
her mouth she breathes fire and your knees turn to
water."
The second man (Bubba) said "My wife is so bad
that we haven't hadn't had physical relations in
darn near twenty years."
The chief again listened attentively and
pronounced Bubba's wife as "Sleeping-Dragon."
When Bubba asked why, the chief replied, "If you
try to touch her while she is sleeping, she will
become a dragon and bite your head off."
Sam and Bubba had a good laugh over their wives
new names. Then Sam asked, "Okay, them Indian
names are pretty cool, but....Who has the worst
wife?"
The chief replied, "I do."
Bubba asked what the chiefs wife name was.
The chief replied something along the lines of
"Whumpo Havo Noja"
Both Sam and Bubba looked very confused, and so
the chief explained, "That's my wife's Indian
name, it translates in English to
"Three-Old-Horses."
More puzzled than ever before Bubba asked, "Yeah,
but what does it (Three-Old-Horses) mean?
The chief sighed, took a sip of his beer and said
, "Nag, Nag, Nag."
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