The Beautiful and a Bungler

This morning on the freeway to work,
I looked over to my left and there was
A beautiful Woman
In a brand new Cadillac
Doing 65 mph
With her Face up next to her rear view mirror
Putting on her eyeliner.

I looked just away
For a couple seconds!
And when I looked back she was
Halfway over in my lane
With flashing signal,
Still working on that makeup.

As a man,
I don't scare that easy.
But she scared the hell out of me
That I dropped my electric shaver,
Which knocked
The breakfast of donut out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying
To straighten out the car
Using my knees against
The steering wheel, it knocked
My cell phone
Away from my ear which fell
Into the coffee
Between my legs,
Splashed, and burned
My pride big Jim and the twins balls,
Ruined the damn phone, soaked my pants,
And disconnected an important business call.