You think country and western are the two kinds of music.
You think cow tipping should be an Olympic sport.
You think paprika is a third-world c...
1. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
2. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
3. Set up a ...
Q. What do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common?
A. They both have the same middle name - THE
* You have the capacity to learn from mistakes. You'll learn a lot today.
* It is a poor workman who blames his tools.
* You can't win. You can't br...
1. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
2. You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks.
3. There is absolutely no substitute f...
What did the judge say when a skunk entered the courtroom?
Answer: Odor, Odor in the court!!!
What did the Indian say when he saw Jesus, walking on the water?
Geez, that white guy can't even swim.
1. If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it's an
2. Try to work alone, an audience is rarely ...
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head
and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful....
The teacher says, "I wish you'd pay a little attention Mary."
"I am paying as little as I can Mrs. Bell," said Mary.
1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in
2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and co...
10. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings; they did it by killing all
those who opposed them.
9. If at first you don't succeed...try ...
1. What is better than wisdom? Woman. And what is better than a good woman? Nothing.
2. Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
3. A woma...
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why you don't ev...
"That math professor's marriage is falling apart!"
"No wonder! He's into scientific computing - and she's incalculable!"