A judge asks a defendant to please stand. "You are
charged with murdering a garbage man with a chain
From the back of the courtroom a man shouts, "You
"Silence in the court!" The judge turns to the
defendant again and says, "You are also charged
with killing a paperboy with a shovel."
"You tightwad!" blurts the spectator.
"Quiet!" yelled the judge. "You are also charged
with killing a mailman with an electric drill."
"You cheap son of a... " the spectator starts to
The judge thunders back, " I will hold you in
contempt! What is the reason for your
"I've lived next to that lying bastard for 10
years now, but do you think he ever had a tool
when I needed to borrow one?