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Cartoon Laws Of Physics

1. Cartoon Law I
Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of itssituation.
Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loitersin midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. Atthis point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second per secondtakes over.
2. Cartoon Law II
Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matterintervenes suddenly. Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit onfoot, cartoon characters are so absolute in their momentum that only atelephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward motionabsolutely. Sir Isaac Newton called this sudden termination of motionthe stooge's surcease.
3. Cartoon Law III
Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforationconforming exactly to its perimeter.
Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the specialityof victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards whoare so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of ahouse, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks ormatrimony often catalyses this reaction.
4. Cartoon Law IV
The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater thanor equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to
spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken.
Such an object is inevitably priceless, the attempt to capture itinevitably unsuccessful.
5. Cartoon Law V
All principles of gravity are negated by fear.
Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock to propel themdirectly away from the earth's surface. A spooky noise or anadversary's signature sound will induce motion upward, usually to the
cradle of a chandelier, a treetop, or the crest of a flagpole. The feetof a character who is running or the wheels of a speeding auto neednever touch the ground, especially when in flight.
6. Cartoon Law VI
As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once.This is particularly true of tooth-and-claw fights, in which acharacter's head may be glimpsed emerging from the cloud of altercationat several places simultaneously. This effect is common as well amongbodies that are spinning or being throttled. A 'wacky' character hasthe option of self-replication only at manic high speeds and mayricochet off walls to achieve the velocity required.
7. Cartoon Law VII
Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnelentrances; others cannot.
This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at leastit is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to trickan opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical space.The painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to followinto the painting. This is ultimately a problem of art, not of science.
8. Cartoon Law VIII
Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent.
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