These questions about Canada were posted on an
International Tourism Website and obviously the
answers came from a fellow Canuck.
Q: I have never seen it warm on TV, so how do the
plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just
sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can
I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only 4000, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: It is imperative that I find the names and
addresses of places to contact for a stuffed
A: Let's not touch this one.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada?
Can you send me a list of them in Toronto,
Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo
racing in Canada?(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent
south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to
your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo
racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact
us when you get here and we'll send the rest of
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country
bordering Ger-man-y, which is....oh forget it.
Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after
the hippo races.