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English Jokes

Doctor Henderson spoke very seriously to Old Terry, 'I'm afraid I have some bad news and some worse news for you, Terry.' 'Tell me the worse news fir... more>>
Dan arrives at the private hospital in Merida, Yucatan, Mexico and is rushed in quickly for surgery after his appalling car crash. The operation go... more>>
Doctor Larmer commented on Peter's, extraordinarily ruddy complexion. 'High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family,' laughed Peter. 'Your mo... more>>
An elderly gentleman named Morris had had considerable hearing problems for a number of years. Naturally, Morris went to his doctor and the doctor wa... more>>
Hazel went to her family physician with her crying baby. Doctor Cassidy diagnosed right away that the baby had an earache and he wrote a prescription ... more>>
In the early 1930's, a farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. "... more>>
A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfort... more>>
Dear Abby: My husband is a lying cheat. He tells me he loves me, but he has cheated our entire marriage. He is a good provider and has many friends... more>>
This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one. "Is ... more>>
According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has... more>>
Wanted For Attemped Murder(actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there, she went to a nea... more>>
A dentist, after completing work on a patient, came to him begging. Dentist: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painfu... more>>
A woman, calling the hospital, said, "Hello, I want to know if a patient is getting better." The voice on the other end of the line said, "What is th... more>>
A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurr... more>>
What Is It Called? 1. The practice of eating insects is called entomophagy. Most insects are edible. There are 1,462 recorded species of edible inse... more>>
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