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English Jokes

A woman is walking along a beach when she finds an old oil lamp. She picks it up and rubs it, and out comes a genie. The genie says to the woman, "T... more>>
A guy comes to a hotel. and he's welcomed by a waitress. "Please take a seat,"she requested The man took the seat and walks away with it befo... more>>
A man awoke one evening to discover prowlers in his storage shed. He immediately called 911, gave his address, to report the prowlers and possibl... more>>
The Crist family worked at a zoo. Each year they predicted the general luck and overall mood of the year by watching the the gnu. If the gnu's ears we... more>>
The manager of a large city zoo was drafting a letter to order a pair of animals. He sat at his computer and typed the following sentence: "I would li... more>>
One Sunday morning an old biker entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wo... more>>
Morris, a Russian man saves his rubles for twenty years to buy a new car. After choosing the model and options he wants, he's not the least bit surpri... more>>
A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6 year old. "I think it's about time we started cussing. The 4 ... more>>
Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Nancy. "She's incredibly mixed up," said one doctor. "She does everything a... more>>
It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party, was heading home, and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested, the fellow couldn't... more>>
A man awakes to find himself lying by the side of a desolate country road. As he regains his bearings, he discovers that he has no memory of who he is... more>>
A golf pro dragged himself into the clubhouse looking as though he'd just escaped a tornado. "What's wrong?" a woman asked. "I just lost a game ... more>>
Moses and his flock arrive at the sea, with the Egyptians in hot pursuit. Moses calls a staff meeting. Moses: Well, how are we going to get acro... more>>
Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor. The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and m... more>>
While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered and Mr. Benson looked out the window. "Good lord!" he screamed, "one of the engines just blew up... more>>
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