English Jokes

They are get drunk up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning though none of them can remember what they did the night befo... more>>
Little Johnny was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is ni... more>>
The dealer tells him to keep a jar of Vaseline handy to on the chrome before it rains to prevent rusting. A few months later, the young man's girlfrie... more>>
He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it... more>>
He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn't want to was anyone, so he takes off h... more>>
On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman, and while looking out of the window on to the... more>>
The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised.He her on the shoulder and said.. "I don't want to sca... more>>
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked... more>>
My daughter was six and excited about learning all the wonderful things about the world that first-graders learn. She turned to me one day and asked, ... more>>
The old pastor made it to a practice to visit the school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the stat... more>>
An 85-year-old couple, after being married for almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to he... more>>
A man speaks into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!""Is this her first child?" the doctor queries."No!... more>>
BowlAbout 90 fifth-graders piled into the airliner I was flying, on their way home from a school trip. Once we were in the air, and the crew began ser... more>>
I was horrified to find my son eating out of the sugar bowl. "Don't let me catch you doing that again!" I scolded. He was willing but. "I'll try, Mo... more>>
A teacher caught a student cheating on his Botany exam and brought him into the principal's office. "Miss , "asked the principal. "How do you know ra... more>>
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